just a few of the poems that I have written over the
course of a few years. Not all are great, not all make a
whole lot of sense, but each poem is a little piece of me.
Again, please don't take.
I Know Beauty
I see old, dead
leaves in a pond
And I know beauty.
I smell the teasing breeze as it passes,
And I know beauty.
I taste the tang of rain hovering over me,
And I know beauty.
I hear the gentle murmuring of a waterfall,
And I know beauty.
I feel the weary age of crumbling rocks,
And I know beauty.
I close my eyes and absorb the world around me,
And for a moment, I am beauty.
God In You
When I close my
eyes and look for God,
Yours is the face that I see.
When I close my eyes and reach for God,
Yours are the arms that I feel.
When I close my eyes and listen for God,
Yours is the voice that I hear.
When I close my eyes and breathe for God,
Yours is the scent that I smell.
When I close my eyes and hunger for God,
Yours is the love that I taste.
When I close my eyes and yearn for God,
Yours is the soul that I touch.
When I open my eyes and say thanks to God,
Yours is the voice that replies.
And lips play me
Like a piano, slightly out of tune.
My flesh, the liquid hum
Of a shivering harp.
Eyes trace each
Like the lazy, haunting
Song of a guitar.
Lips awaken my
With the silver coolness
Of a flutes evocative sigh.
And lips play me with
The ease of a master.
My steel defense as though
It was melting silk.
Eyes strip off
Of carefully maintained restraint,
Lips peel back
the fragile shield
Of my desperate control and leave me
Naked to a terrifying maelstrom of emotion.
And lips reach to my core and
Make me your own.
I stretch my
hands out for something
That I know is there, elusive as
Smoke floating on the water.
It licks my
fingertips with a tongue
Of flame, and I cannot hold onto it
With anything but my mind.
It is ethereal
and so very fragile
That sometimes I think I will never
Capture it with my burned hands.
I want to
reach for it despite the
Scars it has left upon my hands
Every time I have touched its wonder.
I am not
ready to hold it inside me
Like a secret whispered in my ear
And kept safe from the world.
only watch as it floats just
Beyond the reach of my hesitant fingers
And tantalizes my aching heart.
is almost as insubstantial
As mist, it is also more solid than the faith
I offer to the heavens every night.
remain before my eyes until I find
The strength to touch it without fear and bring
It deep within the cauldron of my soul.
can touch it without pain I will know
That I have become something more than
I ever thought was possible.
I will be
I Love You
His smoky voice
is somehow everything
Ive ever wanted, and the twitch
Of an eyebrow says, quite clearly,
I love you.
stamped on his face
Like a brand reaches inside and strokes
My heart, and the shift of a hip screams
I love you.
his hands cup the mic close to
His mouth like the face of his lover gives
Me chills, and the crook of a finger whispers,
I love you.
quirk of his mouth I see his lips
Pressed against mine in some distant
Place far removed, and that grin murmurs,
I love you.
tilt of his head I see children with his
Voice and my imagination cuddled close
In his arms, and his nod states, without doubt,
I love you.
against my own hip snaps me back
To the present, where I am only a girl watching
A guitarist on stage, his movements crying to every girl
I love you.
When you dance that deadly dance,
You never get a second chance,
It's do or die, stab or bleed,
Nothing to feel but a driving need
Not one ounce of mercy, ever show,
For the weakness is one your enemy knows,
Fight with conviction, with fire and skill,
It's the rule of the jungle, be killed or you kill
Silver steel moving in a deadly arc,
Your weapon must always find its mark,
Spot that opening, dart in, make a move,
Always with balance, be swift and be smooth
Eyes never leaving your opponents face,
Anticipate his move and parry with grace,
Fight back that blade, I say, once is enough,
Be certain, be wily, know just when to bluff
Feet are flying, your blade a dark blur,
Fight with ferocity, like a mangy old cur,
Fear is a weapon in your enemys hands,
It stops a fierce heart like a tough iron band
You win or you lose, you live or you die,
Strike or not when opportunity, you spy,
Remember, warrior, these words I speak,
For without them, knowledge, you are nothing but weak
There's a little tavern around the bend,
That goes by the name of Sorrow's End,
Where you can always find a drink and a friend,
And you'll never once be all alone
I go there at times when life is too bleak,
And I always find what I always seek,
It gives me strength when I am weak,
To a strong person I have slowly grown
I find solace in the bottom of my drink,
I go there when I need a quiet place to think,
A friendly smile and a confidential wink,
A kiss from a loving maiden blown
For everyone, there is such place,
Even though it is always a different space,
All our troubles and woes, it will erase,
Ease us when were weary to the bone
Whispers sounding through the halls,
Echoes bouncing off the walls,
I never scream but they always hear,
Night after night and year after year
I try to keep it locked inside,
I try to duck and I try to hide,
But light breaks in and reveals the dark,
My soul is left empty, cold and stark
I try to hide the stain on me,
I never want to let them see,
But they always know, always tell,
They see the me behind the shell
I put on a mask and face them all,
It is my strength, my fortress wall,
Why won't it work, and keep them away?
Instead of running, they decide to stay
Only because it fools them not,
They quickly uncover my cowardly plot,
They look behind the mask I wear,
And realize the flaws I have to bare
Sharp disappointment and burning shame,
I don't know the rules but I play the game,
And they all see the darkness I cloak,
The mirror of perfection is easily broke
Around my feet, the pieces fall,
My tiny reflections hold me in thrall,
It's over again, I once more fail,
From the walls echoes my lonely wail
His eyes so lost, they called to me,
With their despair and tearing need,
A silent, touching and desperate plea,
Through them, I saw his soul bleed
Though I wanted to take away his pain,
And make the wounded look fade,
I took a step back and tried to refrain,
I knew worse would come if I stayed
No one could steal away the hurt,
Or take from his eyes all that grief,
My mind rang bells of earnest alert,
And I fled away like a thief
So many times this dream did come,
And always ended the same,
Far from the stranger I fled swiftly from,
And wept in the dark with my shame
I loved this man, the tormented soul,
But not even I could be his salvation,
To be with him would mean I was whole,
He was food, while I was starvation
Yet I knew the truth deep in my heart,
He was forever far out of my reach,
The only safety was to be apart,
And widen the shattering breach
It shredded my heart to allow the rift,
To watch as he slipped further way,
But love is like a precious gift,
And sometimes, it's taken away
I lift my eyes and search his face,
Just looking for a single trace,
To betray a love he does not feel,
A bit of passion that I can steal
His hair of gold and eyes of blue,
Have conjured in me a love so true,
But though my life is his to take,
There's not a single vow that he can make
Not one of love or care or need,
And so my heart all alone must bleed,
Wishing for a word of deep desire,
To alert me to a burning fire
Roaring in his heart, only for me,
Flaring in his eyes for all to see,
But his eyes are dark and empty and cold,
And no flame in his soul is burning bold.
So though I search his beloved face still,
And though I hope and pray and will,
The love I crave is just not there,
Nothing but apathy in that bright stare.
Thrumming beat and wailing chords,
Liquid voice entwining towards,
Wrapping around, drowning in notes,
Soulful melody on the airway floats.
Deep in my bones, vibrating there,
Intense dark eyes in a musician's stare,
Lord of the room and prince of night,
Only warm sound, no feeling or sight.
Locked in place by the shattering sound,
He shifts the melody, then harmony's found,
Again that voice, a shiver sends,
Voice strives for guitar and easily blends.
My eyes on the stage, held in thrall,
Standing before him, I feel naked and small.
Sheer power flows from his hands to air,
Without uncertainty, he lays his soul bare.
Filled with respect, struck with awe,
His music and skill have the power to draw.
Mixed emotions, but one is still clear,
To his music, his soul, I yearn to be near.
She walked slowly by the ocean's shore,
The rumbling waves calling her name,
Her dress was white and virgin pure,
Yet it couldn't hide her pain and shame.
Bleak eyes turned to her would-be grave,
Sorrow patted her shoulder kindly,
Happiness looked on, no hope to save,
And the girl stepped into the froth blindly
Anger sighed and Cruelty smirked,
While Compassion grabbed for her hand,
Uncertainty in the shadows lurked,
And Love stared blankly from land
Only one could save the lost,
Forgiveness waded behind,
And she would do it, at any cost,
For only she could find
The one small thing to make her stay,
To give back to her Lady Hope,
She called out softly, My child, pray,
And you will find Strength to cope.
Soulful blue eyes hold secrets and pain,
A need to speak, yet still I refrain,
So very afraid to let anyone see,
The weakness and fear lurking deep within me.
Na´ve and gullible, I see what I want,
The mistakes I've made, my memory haunt
Yet once not enough, I again do the same,
And nothing can hide my fury and shame.
Why can't I see, learn from the past?
Why can't the lesson I learned ever last?
I admit the fault is not only my own,
But I take all the blame to carry alone
A need to punish, be it folly or wise,
To open my eyes to the silent, cold lies
His hands tell me false, though he doesn't speak,
And because I ignore it, I know I am weak
Though I know the truth, I choose to pretend,
I convince myself that our love, we can mend
It's not what he wants; he just loses control,
And I smile like a fool and hand him my soul
Maybe the next time I'll push him away,
Yet I believe that my arms will beg him to stay,
The rub of it is, I want his safe arms,
But it does no good, in fact, it does harm
Truth be told, I love this boy still,
When he is near me, he saps all my will,
I lose all of myself to the feelings I hold,
Left only with blue eyes, both soulful and cold
She lives encased in her world of ice,
Because love and trust demand a price,
If you never touch, you're never hurt,
Her soul is always on the alert.
No one comes in, she doesn't leave,
She is lonely, hurt, but doesn't grieve.
When people reach out, ice does burn,
And they all give up, each in turn.
Yet one wouldn't go, endured the pain,
For he knew the fight was worth the gain.
Her heart wasn't dead, only drowning in frost,
He'd melt down her wall, and at any cost.
Life isn't simple, and love is the same,
He was losing heart and losing the game.
How can you save someone locked away?
The only answer, my friend, is you pay.
He gave up his life to make her smile,
He tried love, compassion, anger and guile.
Finally, finally, when years were far flown,
He cracked open the stone and made her his own.
Life was nigh over, for both and for each,
Death now had them within His cold reach.
She had lived her life alone and nigh dead,
She was offered love and chose pain instead.
He devoted himself to erasing her fear,
And in doing so lost to her year after year.
What had he gained from his quest, so true?
A love soon lost and sweet memories few.
Was it worth it, you ask, for him or for her?
Some say No!, Yes! others aver.
Waste not your life, for soon it is gone,
And many will condemn you as right or wrong.
I look at you, and I see confusion,
You're deep and sweet and kind,
You're all things good without exclusion,
And yet I just can't make up my mind.
I want to love you wild and free,
I want to need you so I can breathe,
But somehow I just cannot see,
Whether I should stay or leave.
The truth is I do love you, and
You often take my breath away.
I can't stand to have my future planned,
And so I want to run away.
Is our love what I'm looking for?
Are you the best I'll ever possess?
I turn my head and look for more,
There's so much I can't express.
I know it's wrong to settle, yet
I can't tell if I did, and
If I let you go I might regret,
That you'd never understand.
Am I wrong or is this wrong?
The wondering rips me apart.
I try to smile and try to be strong,
But I can see the blood on your heart.
I pull away and it hurts you,
I see the pain in your eyes,
I hate to see it, but I know it's true,
It's something you can't disguise.
Is this what love is all about?
This blood and hurt and pain?
I want to cry, I want to shout,
And yet somehow, I refrain.
I keep it all hidden inside
Where it burns and eats at me,
A hundred tears I've never cried
Blur until I cannot see.
I wish I could feel love this keen,
It devours and consumes my mind,
I'd see the world as I've never seen,
And leave all this misery behind.
The world I live in is a world of dreams,
And nothing there is as it seems,
I control each nuance, from man to beast,
I control each nuance, from greatest to least
No one can touch this world of mine,
It's my own true temple, my only shrine,
Life in our world is so hard and unsure,
My world of illusions, the only cure
Unicorns romp and elves entertain,
The sound of a harp erases my pain,
Rain never falls in this tale in my head,
No creature here has been wounded and bled
I rule over all in my fantasy land,
But I rule over all with a gentle hand,
I am strong and sure and so noble and true,
Rulers like this are so painfully few
Come if you like to my garden of mist,
There are grottoes here for an innocent tryst,
But bring not with you the world of lies,
For friend, if you do, my daydream dies